Heather Graham is opening up about how her strict, religious upbringing led her to break away from her family and build a life on her own terms.
During a recent appearance on the “Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson” podcast, the 56-year-old actress reflected on why she had fought to win and maintain her independence from a young age.
“I know it’s probably because when I grew up, my father was really controlling, and he would be like, ‘When you’re in my house, you have to do what I say.’ And I remember thinking, ‘I’m never gonna have somebody to say that to me again,'” Graham said.
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She continued, “So then I’m like, ‘I’m gonna own two houses, and I’m gonna do whatever I want.'”
Graham’s father, James Graham, is a retired FBI agent while her mother, Joan Graham worked as a teacher and authored children’s books. “The Hangover” star recalled that she moved with her family to Agoura Hills, California, near Los Angeles, when she was nine-years-old.
Fox News Digital has reached out to the Graham family for comment.
Graham remembered that she knew she wanted to pursue acting when she was a child, but her father was opposed to her early ambitions.
“My father was really religious, so he was kind of like wary of the entertainment business,” she said. “So it took a lot of talking him into it.”
“I had to pretty much be like 16,” Graham continued. “But then I started driving into the city, and working on films.”
While speaking with the Hollywood Reporter in 2024, Graham recalled that her parents shared different views when it came to her career aspirations.
“My father is extremely, very, very Catholic to probably an extreme amount, and my mom was more artistically leaning, so she was more supportive,” she told the outlet. “I kind of got a mixed message. On one hand, my mom was saying, ‘You should do this,’ and on the other hand, my father was kind of saying, ‘This isn’t good.’”
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During a 2024 interview with The Wall Street Journal, Graham recalled leaving home and moving to West Hollywood, California, to follow her dreams of becoming an actress.
At the time, her father warned her that Hollywood would “claim [her] soul.”
“He regularly told me that the entertainment industry was evil and that Hollywood would claim my soul,” Graham said. She noted that her parents “were part of a generation that didn’t believe in therapy or discussing personal things, so I never felt I could talk to them.”
Graham said that she knew it was time to move out of her parents’ home following the premiere of her first movie “License to Drive” in 1988.
“When the movie came out, I was 18, living at home had become more difficult,” she said. “I said to myself, ‘I’ve got to get out of here, I’ve got to be successful, and I’ve got to be a movie star.’”
“I found an apartment in West Hollywood with another girl from high school — a working model who was also investing in real estate on the side. Living with her was freeing.”
After rising to prominence when she starred in the 1997 movie “Boogie Nights,” Graham went on to land major roles in the 1999 films “Austin Powers” and “Swingers.”
Graham told the WSJ that her success led her to realize she was “self-sufficient” and she began to reevaluate her relationship with her parents. She shared that she stopped speaking to her parents when she was 25, and they remain estranged.
During her recent podcast appearance, Graham explained that her 2024 movie “Chosen Family” was inspired in part by her own experience being estranged from her parents and finding connection through friendships instead.
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Graham wrote, produced and starred in “Chosen Family,” which follows her character, a yoga teacher named Ann, as she navigates messy relationships and a difficult past while learning to build a supportive “family” from the people she chooses rather than her family of origin.
“I’m not close with my family,” she said. “I’m estranged from my family.”
“And I feel like my friends are my family, you know?” she added.
Graham told the WSJ that she is proud of the life she has created for herself, which includes a house in Los Angeles and a loft in New York City.
Noting that her West Coast home “has views of the Pacific,” Graham explained that she draws inspiration from her surroundings.
“I love the ocean,” she said. “I also like sitting out back when writing or preparing for a movie. Nature is inspiring.”
